There’s always one in the family, right?  The notoriously bad gift-giver.  The one who doesn’t get it; who gives ‘presents’.  They love to knit, knit a thousand pairs of mittens each year, and even though you already have a dozen pair you get a new one each Christmas. You know who I’m talking about…

And you love them to pieces. But they keep giving you things that don’t fit, that are useless, that are ugly, and you don’t know what to do with all the stuff you’ve accumulated from them over the years because let’s be honest, there are only so many Yankee swaps you can attend in a lifetime!

How do you make certain that you’re giving good gifts?  Well, it helps if you know what the recipient wants, likes, has for hobbies, etc. It is even more helpful if sometime during the year said recipient discloses what they wish they had.  SCORE!

There is a difference between giving someone a gift and giving someone a present…

A present is something you give to someone that you want them to have.  A gift is something that you give someone that they’ve expressed the desire to have

Let gift giving be a pleasure for you.  Plan ahead so that the process doesn’t stress you out.  Revel in thoughts of the person you are about to give a gift to.  When you’re thinking of them, or if you see something that you think would please them, or if you overhear them speaking of something that would make them happy, write it down.  Keep an ongoing list of gift ideas for your loved ones, year round.

I keep my gift idea list on my phone.  It’s pretty simple.  It’s titled “Gifts-2015”.  Original, huh?!  And then I have it further broken down by everyone’s name and then the gift ideas I’ve accumulated over the course of this year.   It seems like a no-brainer and it is, but before I actually wrote down gift ideas, I used to run around like a chicken with my head cut off when it was someone’s birthday or Christmas, trying to find the perfect, meaningful gift.  And that took away from the joy of giving, because I was worried that since I hadn’t put as much time into picking my gift, it would end up being more of a present!

I’m so glad I live in a world where there are Octobers. – L.M. Montgomery

It’s that wonderful time of year again…houses are decorated with pumpkins and mums, scarecrows and cornstalks.  Those perfectly maintained manicured lawns that you covet in the spring and summer are littered with vibrant, paint-dipped leaves, finally putting them at a level playing field with all other lawns.  And when the moon comes out at night, the jack o’ lanterns light up the neighborhood.

Carving a pumpkin is fun at any age… before we had our little beach rose, my husband and I each carved our own every year!  Now we let her pick out a ‘friendly’ pumpkin face, from any of the Halloween books we loan from the library, for Daddy to carve and she does all the scooping of the pulp and seeds, the sorting, and the salting.  Things get a bit messy around here!  Oh, but it is soooo worth it…  the look on her little face when the Jack O’ Lantern comes to life is priceless.

FUN FACT: The size of the pumpkin does not determine the amount of seeds it contains. This is determined by the amount of time it spent on the vine. A pumpkin full of seeds is usually much darker in color and has more lines on the outside. Each line on the outside is a row of seeds on the inside!

Ready to learn how to make super-simple, super-delicious

Roasted Pumpkin Seeds?

Like its predecessor, this book was really nice.  The author has a pleasant writing style, the setting in Burma seems picturesque and the stories he tells within the novel pull at your heartstrings.

That being said, this book had a lot of holes in it…it felt unfinished.  It’s one thing to leave an obvious open ending to foreshadow another sequel (although how long is Jan-Philipp Sendker going to stretch out the original story, for goodness sake?!),  but it’s another to leave so many loose threads throughout the story.

I wish the author would have left out the characters from his 1st book.  I feel like Julia was just a vessel for the real storyline which was unnecessary and U Ba’s plot was superfluous.

It was really, really slow in the 1st half.  So much so that I almost put it down.  I couldn’t stand Julia.  She just seemed like a self-absorbed martyr with no real relationships.

What’s up with this fantastical element to the storyline of the sudden appearance of “The Voice” in Julia’s head?  The one that leads her back to Burma, where coincidentally, her brother that she hasn’t visited in 10 yrs lives?

***SPOILER ALERT***  Do not read further if you haven’t finished the book or mean to read this book.

What the heck happened to the VOICE?  She just magically disappears when Julia finds Thar Thar?  First Julia is told that the voice will rest when she finds out where the voice’s son is buried.  So, Julia finds out that the son, Thar Thar, is alive, but the voice continues to plague her. Then when she finally meets him the voice is gone. Nothing ever again in the book about the voice.  What??

And what about Thar Thar’s reaction to Julia’s story about his mother being inside her?  There is none.  How is that even possible?  I would freak!  And how could he possibly ignore the fact that his mother is inside her when he sleeps with her?  Yuck!

What happens to the threat of the black boots?  Supposedly Julia wasn’t safe from them either…never heard about them again.

And then Julia’s brother U Ba.  He’s coughing his brains out and seemingly on his deathbed throughout the book.  Yet at the end of the story, he gets a little back rub with some potion and he’s fine?

Lastly, doesn’t it work out a bit too perfectly that Julia will just uproot her life, shirk all her responsibilities (which is completely out of character), discard her career, friend, apartment, etc for a pipe dream?

Well…sorry to say that it’s not going to be me who reads the follow-up about what happens next…

unless you add a half pound of butter, 2 eggs, flour and bake at 350 degrees for 40 minutes!

Which is what’s been happening in my house for the last month…

My parents have an apple orchard on their 5 acres of land.  And this was a banner year for fruit grown in New England!

I told them to unload their delicious bounty on me and as you can see from the photo above, they took me literally.  I’ve been eating them for breakfast, and baking apple this and apple that nearly every day for the past month!  Wow, have I eaten some yummy apple desserts!

Now if only I had a cider press in our garage…mmmmmm.

One of the classic recipes using freshly picked apples of any kind, is homemade applesauce.  Everyone loves applesauce; babies, kids, and adults (pork chops & applesauce, anyone?). It’s easy to cook and can be altered to work for any age!

Here’s the greatest applesauce recipe you’ll ever come across:

Yield = 6 Cups

If making for baby food:
Omit sugar and cinnamon. The apples themselves offer enough sweetness for a baby and are full of fiber & vitamin C. Just don’t cook too far past the 10 minute mark, so that you retain all the nutrients!

Disclaimer:
The recipe above is fit for my 4-year-old with enough sugar in it so that she’s excited to eat it and thinks it’s a treat.
I, however, prefer my applesauce sweeter.  My recipe uses 1 1/2 cups sugar and 1 1/2 teaspoons cinnamon.  Try this smeared on a buttered english muffin for breakfast and you’ll never go back to peanut butter again!

Yoga pants are the new jeans.  And they definitely shouldn’t be.

I agree that they’re comfy and make you feel good about yourself!  And your significant other appreciates them too, I’m sure of it!  I’m just saying that there is a time and a place…

wearing sweatpants or pajama pants out in public has always been frowned upon as something lacking elegance, style and decorum. Don’t get me wrong, sweatpants or my favorite pj pants are the greatest thing ever for those cozy nights by the fire.  Just as yoga pants are the greatest thing ever for your workout class.

But, they are not appropriate for the grocery store, or school, or shopping.

The true genius of the yoga pant is in its equal appeal to both men and women. Men want to see them on women, and women want to see them on themselves. Men like the fact that they can see every detail of the lower half of the female’s body. Women like their comfort and their supportive pull-everything-in-tight effect. They feel good because they look good. Everybody wins.

Or do they?

Well, let’s see…now just type in the 2 words “yoga pants” into the search bar on google.  Do you see the myriad of blogs, sites, comments, etc by men in praise of this invention?

Men LOVE yoga pants inventor Ryan McLatchy.  And I quote,  “It’s as if he dutifully laid this incredible gift at the doorstep of the hetero male”.

My hubby works often with contractors and he said that almost daily the conversation comes around to a woman in yoga pants. And the fact that women allow themselves to be seen in them. And it is usually a lewd discussion that ensues..

The feminist in me wants to rebel against all this ogling by every man out there.  “Just because they want to be inappropriate, shouldn’t dictate what I wear, right?”

But the other side of the feminist inside me says, “You know they’re gawking, why would you allow them to? Or allow your daughter to be the focus of this type of attention?”

Regardless of the fact that you think you’re dressed, a lot of men out there feel as though you are “baring all”…YIKES!  They may warrant unwanted attention, whether you intend this or not.  Which may not be fair, but is a reality.

Schools across the nation are banning them, saying that they along with tight pants, leggings & jeggings are against the dress code.

There’s a reason that exercise or workout clothes is worn to a gym, to a yoga studio, a dance class, a dojo, etc. It’s necessary and highly functional then.  And completely appropriate and even recommended.

Suffice it to say that the message sent when these pants are worn outside of these circumstances may not be the one you want to be sending!

Visit ethnic grocery stores, both locally and in the surrounding communities.  Middle Eastern markets, Italian delis, French bakeries, Asian food marts, European markets, etc…

Have you ever been to a Greek market and had their fresh feta?  Too die for!  And no comparison to the hard block that comes tightly wrapped in cellophane at your grocers.  How about fresh charcuterie from an Italian deli?  You’ll have a hard time going back to your weekly lunch meat!

It’s so exciting!  There are so many items there that you have never seen before, never heard of and of course, never tasted.  Or perhaps you’ve tasted a certain food before, but never the type of quality that’s offered at a specialty market.  It’s a whole new world of flavors.  And you learn about a culture while you shop and take it all in.

Take your time while you’re there;  browse.

Stroll down the aisles and look at all of the merchandise.

If they are offering any kind of food or beverage tasting, partake in it!  You could discover a new favorite food.  Or you could gag and decide that you’re never going to eat that again!

Talk to the store clerks or patrons and ask them questions. What is this? How do you cook this? What kind of dish would you serve it in?

If something peaks your interest, take it home with you and try it. Even if you don’t know how to cook it, remember that you can surf the internet for a recipe for virtually any type of food out there.

Visit grocery stores and food markets wherever you may travel.  It may be to a foreign country or to the state which neighbors yours; no matter, you’ll discover so many different local ingredients, recipes and people excited that you’re interested and eager to share them with you.

A couple of personal accounts of local market visits while traveling:  In an Asian market in Portland, OR I was introduced to gooey duck (geoduck), a very large Pacific saltwater clam that bears resemblance to an elephant trunk,  a locally made and renowned cheese and smoked sausage in Vermont, fresh nutmeg and cinnamon just picked and peeled off a tree in Grenada, duck tongue in Shanghai, and Chinese whiskey with a preserved lizard in it.  You never know what’s in store (pun intended!)!

I don’t care if your “baby” is 2 weeks old, 4 yrs old or a teenager.  This is a traumatic experience for both the child and the parent.  Seeing your child in pain is heartbreaking!

We just had our 4 yr shots today and it was no picnic.  Neither for my little beach rose nor for me.

To tell beforehand or allow it to be a last-minute surprise?

If they’re still small, a little prep beforehand without actually giving it away is key…

• Try not to make a big deal out of it. “There might be some shots when we go to the doctor’s.  Sometimes there are, sometimes there aren’t. Everybody gets them.  They hurt for a little bit, but they’re good for your body.”
• There are some good books out there that review a typical doctor’s visit in a nonchalant way. We read this Berenstain Bears book before our visit!
• Engage your child.  Have them bring their “baby” or “Lovie” and their doctor’s kit, so that they can perform their own check-up.
• Treats, treats, treats!  Bring them, talk about them right before you tell your child about the impending shot, show it to them, and for goodness’ sake, give it to them right before they’re about to get the shot!

At the end of the day, it doesn’t really matter what you may try to do to prep, because your child is most likely going to scream like a banshee.  And your heart’ll be ripped out because you were the one restraining them while allowing someone else to hurt them (or that’s what their eyes will be pleading with you as they get pricked by that ridiculously long needle!)  Try not to be too hard on yourself.

Try to remain strong during the process & afterwards.  If your lips are quivering along with hers after she’s done, she’ll lose it.  Guaranteed.  If you continue to baby her about having received the shots, the band-aid, any bruising or pain she’ll think it’s a big deal and the next dr’s visit will be a rough one, or at least trying to get her there will be!

Even if they scream and cry, be sure to tell them that they did a great job and were very brave.  If there is any biting or kicking, that’s a different story… (A friend of mine’s kid started kicking the nurse even before she had come at her with the needle and then when she did come near her to administer the shot, the kid bit her, hard, in the arm. I think this is a serious no-no and that proper/improper behavior should be made clear to a child, by the parent, prior to the visit.)

Whether to immunize or not…

this is ultimately your decision as a parent. I just advise that you do A LOT of research on this subject matter before you make your final decision.  There is a lot at stake here.  Not just the health and well-being of your “baby”, but also of other “babies” out there, who may have weakened/compromised immune systems due to health complications.

1 year ago today I was having multiple “panic attacks” per day just thinking about my job…the stress was unbelievable.  And I stuck with it because I felt as though it was the best course of action; financially, the flexibility & the proximity to home.

Looking back I wonder why it took me so long to get out and regain my joie de vivre!

If you are feeling anxiety about your job ask yourself some key questions:

• Do I like my job?
• Do I like my boss?
• Do I like my co-workers?
• Is it the people?
• Is it the culture of the company?
• Is it the tasks involved with the job?
• Can I change how I feel about it?
• Is it me or is it the job?

If you think it may help, talk to your boss about the stress level, schedule, compensation as there could be ways to improve the situation.

If you’re experiencing crippling anxiety about your job, losing sleep, feeling sick with dread about Mondays, getting depressed or feeling bad about yourself…  TIME FOR A NEW ONE!

If your job is intolerable, you should leave, but…

…try not to quit before having something else lined up, as you will never feel more confident and be more irresistible to potential employers during an interview when you are currently employed…

…and don’t burn bridges.  Don’t complain to colleagues or take it out on them. Be a professional.  Continue to put in 100% even if you know that you will be leaving. It’s a small world and you never know when you may run into these coworkers in the future!

Don’t worry about your decision to move on.  It is so much more important that your health, state of mind, and relationships be the priority.  When they are, all else falls into place!

Another year older, another year wiser.  But, the wiser you get the stupider you realize you are.  Like that?  I just made up that last part!  But, it’s the conclusion I’m coming to as I get older.  And supposedly “wiser”.

Knowledge is not what you can remember, but what you cannot forget. -Anonymous

Be curious…

Ask a million questions. Ask your parents. Ask your teachers. Ask your friends. Ask your doctor. Ask the librarian. Ask your boss. Ask your colleagues. Ask google.

What does that word mean? How do you cook that? What does that taste like? How does that work? Who invented this?

Don’t be afraid of asking dumb questions. Don’t worry about asking a question you should already know the answer to. Your short-term memory can hold up to 7 things at one time, but for only 20 seconds! It takes a couple of times to hear something before it really sinks in.

And it will really sink in if you participate in a discussion around the topic, or try to teach what you just learned to someone else. You’re able to retain 70% of what you say if in a discussion & 90% of what you say and do (cooking the recipe or play-acting a scene from history or teaching someone).

Unless you’re riveted by the topic, most human beings only have an attention span for 20 minutes.  That means while your teacher continues to lecture after 45 minutes, all you’re hearing is “yadda yadda yadda”!  So make certain you ask questions, have a conversation with the teacher, your classmates, your family, etc about what you just learned and try to teach it to someone else.

Dig. Dig deep. Don’t just skim over the surface of things without understanding. Even after you ask the question, find out more to the answer. Do research. Look it up. You now literally have a million resources at your fingertips with the internet….

So I got an invite to join a book club 2 years ago and was beside myself with joy.  I mean, BESIDE myself!

Finally!!!!  I had been “selected” to join this inner sanctum of female intelligentsia.  I would be participating in invigorating, thought-provoking conversation that would challenge me, and leave me pondering the philosophy behind every work of literary genius I would be reading!  Right?

Not quite…

Here’s what the reality of belonging to a book club turned out to be for me:

• A lot of “Oprah Book Club” like books.  Not that there’s anything wrong with that!  It’s just that I probably wouldn’t choose to read about 85% of those.  And therefore, out of the 25 books I’ve had to read while with this group, only 4-5 were worthy of mention and will stick with me. That’s less than 1/5th of the books I’m reading that I’m enjoying!  Yikes!

• The books are mediocre at best; mediocre writing, mediocre plot. Forgettable.

• Majority wins as to which books are selected every 4-6 months to read for the next 4-6 months.  Unfortunately, the majority likes using the NYT Bestseller list as a bellwether of great literature.  I’m sorry but I knew before I even opened the book that I wouldn’t be interested in the sequel to The Art of Hearing Heartbeats when I’d only considered that book to be ok.

• Not enough time to read as it is…so I have found myself getting frustrated reading a book for the club that I’m not interested in/don’t like, when I’ve got a giant backlog of books I cannot wait to get my hands on!

But you still need to join one if the opportunity arises.  “WHAT?” you say.

Well, the perks are:

•  that I’ve met a wonderful group of women,

• with a great diversity of opinions;  the discussions can become lively, which is exciting.

• And I am forced to read books I wouldn’t have normally, and have found a couple of gems that way!

• And I’ve discovered new authors, too, which is always fun.

• And I get a night out with great women, glasses of wine, cheese platters and a book discussion.  Which frankly, any book discussion whether it be lively or not, whether it be about a book you like or not, feeds the soul.

At worst, you’ll read some books you don’t love.  At best, you’ll meet some great people from your neck of the woods, discover books/authors you wouldn’t have & enjoy some intelligent dialogue!

Below are a couple of links to try out to find something in your locale:

http://www.readerscircle.org/
http://bookclub.meetup.com/

and of course, your local library and other local town libraries offer book clubs, too.