I’m here to tell you to plan your ideal romance, romantic date or romantic getaway.
he’s never attempted it. Or he’s never gotten it right. Or he doesn’t think about it. He’s not creative or ambitious romantically, so you always end up at the movies.
That is reality!
The “romantic” ones are either gay (all the good ones usually are, no fair!) or taken, or too experienced with romance, if you catch my drift, or cheesy or they just don’t exist, or
just. ain’t. like. that.
Don’t wait for something that isn’t gonna happen in this lifetime and then be resentful. You’ll both be miserable. Don’t force him or guilt him into being someone he’s not or doing something he’s uncomfortable with.
Grab the reins!
My Mom’s best friend was my surrogate Aunt and someone who just told it like it was. I hadn’t been married long and hadn’t had kids when she died at the age of 59. Waaaaay too young. I miss getting the “real deal” from someone, about life and its many quandaries. My Mom is wonderful, but she likes to tell you how she thinks things should be.
Well, my Aunt used to say that she planned EVERYTHING. “You think there’d be any romance in my life if I left it up to him?”, she’d squawk, while pointing at her lump of a husband sitting mesmerized in front of a football game on TV. She’d say that if she hadn’t scheduled nights out, vacations, day trips with their kids, etc, they’d have never done anything.
Plan it. Your loved one will be relieved not to have the pressure on him. He’ll love the idea of it, especially if it’s something you love the idea of and since he hasn’t stepped up to the plate with a better one!
Plan the romance you wish for. Sure, you cannot put words in his mouth, but you may inspire romance with your well-thought-out, well-executed plan.
So, if you’ve been dying to learn how to salsa dance or bird watch in them marsh, if your idea of romance is taking a cooking class or a couples massage or jumping out of an airplane together holding hands, put your plan in motion.
Just be sure to honor your loved one’s fears and aversions…don’t take him to trap lobsters if he gets seasick just looking at the ocean, no matter how badly you want the adventure!