Have you ever hung out with someone who loves telling you stories about themselves?

I spent 16 years in sales and for many of those years I managed a slew of sales reps.  Oh, you can just imagine!

Me, me, me!

Christmas parties were probably the funniest!  Ever been in a room with 200 inflated egos, trying to talk over each other to tout their latest achievement?  For the spouses and significant others at the party, it was no picnic…they were all clustered together at the bar the whole night!

During my time in the world of sales I learned that there are 2 types of people out there selling:  those that listen and those that talk.  Both of these types sell.  No question about it.  However, the most successful were the ones who took the time to ask questions of others and sit back and listen.  I used to remind my sales team that they had two ears and one mouth for a reason!  And tried to encourage them not to take over any conversation.

Be aware.  The most important thing you can do when you’re having a conversation with someone is to put yourself in their shoes and ask yourself if what you’re saying is:

A) necessary

B) self-congratulating

C) self-promoting

D) derogatory

E) condescending

F) selfish

etc ,etc, etc…

Because nobody wants to be near that person at the party!

Don’t self-aggrandize or boast.

Being self-centered will ultimately isolate you!

Those who are humble are usually the ones who have more to boast about and yet they let others talk about their accomplishments.  And they have so many more loyal friends.  Ever notice that?

Those who feel they need to self-aggrandize can be self-centered and insecure.  They may need to be the center of attention because they crave it or they may need to loudly tout their “accomplishments”, condescend and make themselves feel superior because they may be shallow, weak and completely insecure about their own choices and character.  Yikes!  That doesn’t sound like someone fun to be around!

I was recently in a conversation with someone who came right out and said that they were not interested in talking to anyone who was not well-educated or well-traveled.  Double yikes!  What a sad way to go through life!  Think about all of the incredibly interesting people and life stories they’ll miss out on. Their egotistical pursuit of like-minded narcissist companions will keep them from the enrichment brought about by hanging out with all types of people and will most likely result in a lot of time spent alone.

Steer clear of people like this, as they are not truly interested in your best interest, in who you are and in what is going on in your life.  They may view you as a threat to them and therefore they may try to one-up you and belittle you and your choices to make themselves feel better about themselves.

Find people with humility.  Someone who is modest is usually a person who is extremely bright and talented and unselfish and caring.  Stick with this guy/gal.

Be humble yourself.  You’ll find that your life is enriched by listening to others, instead of talking about yourself, and you will be more approachable and more trusted.

Surround yourself with people who make you want to be a better you; but not those who speak so highly of themselves as to purposely make you feel bad about the person you already are and what you have to offer.  You are awesome…but don’t be the one to tell everyone!