One day you just wake up and there it is…the dreaded female mustache. When did that get there? Where did that come from? How do I get that thing off of my face???
Probably when you first start to notice it, it may be faint and/or really thin. But over time, it will start to “fill” in. Doesn’t that sound atrocious?!
When I first gasped in the mirror, I knew that I had to take immediate action. I was not going to let this thing take over my face. The battle was on.
I started with Jolen bleach.
Comes in a box for about 6 bucks, and you figure out how to lighten your mustache hairs to a blond color. You do a little chemistry project in your bathroom, mixing one strong smelling chemical with another to form a paste. Then you smear the paste onto “the affected area” and let it sit there for 8 minutes. Voilà! Lighter hairs. Lasts about 3 weeks, max. But a great starter kit, nonetheless. Not painful, effective, and not too inconvenient.
Not yet, anyways.
Then you get a real life. That doesn’t mean its better. It’s just a reality check. Gone are the days of going out till 4 am and sleeping till noon. Gone are the endless hours primping in the bathroom to get ready for a big night out. Gone are the freedoms. Gone are the … I’ll stop there. Now, you’ve got a husband and a house and throw kids into the mix. 8-10 minutes extra minutes in the bathroom is the equivalent to wishing that you looked like you did before you had kids. Not. Going. To. Happen.
So, you may decide to have it waxed. Yup, ouch. Ouch the first time and don’t listen to anyone. ouch every time. But, oh so much more effective than bleach. And time savings? Mucho. Rip. Rip. Done. If you go to a salon to have them do it, it may cost you more time. But if you go there already to have your hair or nails done, squeeze it in and the time will be minimal.
But, if you have neither the extra time nor extra cash to have someone take care of it for you, or if you’re just to embarrassed to face anyone with the Wooly Bear creeping on your upper lip, consider the at-home wax kit.
It costs 5 bucks, can be purchased slyly (Oh this? Yeah, it’s for my sister. She’s got really dark hair…), can be done anytime you can stomach it and takes about 30 seconds to do.
The next time you see a bit of stubble trying to rear their ugly heads, you’re armed with the “Rippah”. Ouch. But really, the alternative is worse. Nobody wants to be the bearded lady at the carnival…