There are two types of hiccups you can get.

1. The ones that don’t hurt…

2. and the ones that do.

Now the ones that don’t hurt usually only hang out for a few minutes.  They announce themselves by way of a burp and then come on steadily.  These hiccups can be fun, and even funny!  They’ll probably cause you to be the butt of many a joke and make you the popular grown-up among the kids.  And the wonderful thing about them is that just as soon as they arrive, they peter out…

and you breathe a sigh of relief.

The ones that do hurt…these hiccups are absolutely no fun.  They can cause a stabbing pain in your chest, and eventually bring about back pain and even a headache!  And they usually produce an unattractive croaking sound from your mouth without warning.

Hiccups usually present themselves when you have either eaten too quickly, or if you’ve eaten or drank too much.  There are many old “remedies” to the common case of the hiccups, but speaking from someone who experiences them a lot and who has tried all of these, there’s only one that works every time.  Some of the old “remedies” that haven’t worked are as follows:

1. Swallowing a spoonful of straight white sugar.
2. Swallowing a spoonful of peanut butter.
3. Swallowing a spoonful of vinegar.
4. Swallowing a spoonful of dill.
5. Swallowing a spoonful of hot sauce.
6. Swallowing a spoonful of hot chocolate powder.
7. Swallowing a spoonful of honey.

Let me just save you the torture and tell you that the only thing that’ll happen when you swallow these “spoonfuls” is unquestionable weight gain, bad breath, dry mouth and a bad attitude.  Oh yes, and of course you’ll still be suffering the annoyance of your hiccups.

8. Pulling on your tongue.  (This remedy must be real old.  Like, we’re talking Medieval times…I’d rather have hiccups, thank you very much.)
9. Breathe in and out of a paper bag.  (Yeah.  Because those are readily available at the office, etc.)
10. Have someone scare you.  (Look, how can someone scare you if you know it’s coming?  And besides, are you always around people when you get the hiccups?)

Now look at all of these “remedies” and tell me which you could convince your 2 year old to do in the midst of their hiccup bout?

Here’s the ONLY method I’ve found that works, every time…

Put a paper towel over a glass of water; cover it completely.  Drink through the paper towel.  Count, “one one-thousand, two one-thousand, etc” till at least 10. 

POOF!

Gone.

You’re welcome!